Lens (unfocusedlens) wrote,

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weird dreams....

I remember weird dreams last night, but I don't remember any content. The night after the party [umm....Friday/Saturday night] I had lots of dreams involving Neal. I hadn't seen him in a week. He's so pretty...I'm going to think that forever, and I keep having these thoughts that he loves me unconditionally. I think he might...I know I'm almost there, loving him selflessly. Now, if only I'd felt that way while we were dating a year and a half ago, maybe it would have been more worthwhile. But I get to spend another play with him, every Friday rehearsal until dress week when it's six hours per day. Then the performances, which take no less than five hours total. I'll have two days of school performances [unless we sell out and add a third like we did for BFG] with him. Him and I. In the light booth together. It's going to be great. He's a wonderful guy. He's essentially hormoneless....you know how many times I gave him chances when we were dating? Nothing ever happened.... of course, I didn't instigate anything because I was too shy, too unself-confident. If we were dating now, I'd be all over him. In a strictly chaste way, mind you. But we're not dating again, and I think he still has a thing for Rachel, my best friend. Neal...pretty Neal. Delicately boned face with high cheekbones, bright smile, electrically charged blue eyes one or two shades lighter than Rachel's, short blonde hair, wavy when short, curly around his face when longer, long arms with delicate hands and nice fingernails, taller than I, huggy and generous with himself, warm, and comforting when I need him. Neal. I love him, I really do.
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